Happy Thanksgiving Week! :)
I love this time of year. I love spending time with my family! I love the good food! i love reminiscing of old times! And this year I have so much to be thankful for!
After 5 years together, I feel like the wind is finally blowing in the same direction as Joey and I. We've hit roadblocks along the way. We have had to back track. but one thing i am super proud of is the fact that in 5 years, we have never once broken up. I know joey is my soulmate and I can't wait to see what the journey of life throws our way in the future because I know we can tackle it together! :) This year I am so thankful for the love of my life!
Looking back over this year and thinking about the natural disasters and the wars that have happened between countries, etc., I am very much blessed to be safe with a roof over my head and be united with family! Its awful to imagine what so many are currently going through (in the NE for example) as they are trying to rebuild their lives and grieve for loved ones lost in the hurricane. I can't imagine not having any family around the holidays and my heart breaks for those whom are alone or homeless. Be thankful for what you have, no matter how big or small, because you never know what tomorrow will bring.
Although things have been going very well for me lately, Thursday November 22, 2012 (Thanksgiving Day) is actually kind of a hard day to be thankful for me. November 22 would be Lauren Witty's 27th birthday. Lauren died in May of 2009, but it seems like yesterday. It's hard to imagine that another year has gone by without Witty. How can you be thankful on a day like this when your best friend is not here and in your eyes she should be. This day is all about giving thanks, but it's hard to let go of the anger that still surfaces occasionally. However, i know my life was blessed by being able to know her. Witty was a positive influence on anyone and everyone she met. She was one of the most amazing people, one of those "special ones" that don't come around that often. So this year, while the day may be hard, I will try to be more thankful for having known her than more angry that she is gone so soon.
I Love you, Lauren Witty! I'll miss you every day until the day we meet again.
Happy Thanksgiving to all.
"When I think back
On these times
And the dreams
We left behind
I'll be glad 'cause
I was blessed to get
To have you in my life
When I look back
On these days
I'll look and see your face
You were right there for me
In my dreams
I'll always see you soar
Above the sky
In my heart
There always be a place
For you for all my life
I'll keep a part
Of you with me
And everywhere I am
There you'll be
Ans everywhere I am
There you'll be.. "
Faith Hill - There You'll Be
sometimes things happen so unexpectedly that when you look back on it, it almost feels as if it were a dream.. or in some cases, a nightmare!
but sometimes those nightmares are really blessings in disguise! and recently, i can say that i am thankful for some of the nightmares that have occurred recently!!
in other news:
For future references, let me give you a few phrases that A) don't hurt me B) show immaturity & C) can make for a wonderful laugh later!
-oh, so you thought you hurt me when ______ ?
*you called me fat: go ahead and use your big words to hurt me with this one because no amount of your words can tell me what i already know. Not to mention, none of your existence will ever know what it is like to live with the disorder i live with that causes this. But for future references, i have lost 26lbs in 2 months and i am happier than i have been in 3 or 4 years.. and a lot tougher.. so go ahead and refer to my weight.. doesn't bother me!
*you called me a bitch: yeah, and..? most everyone is. but if this is the most hurtful term you can come up with, congratulations.. you succeded in not hurting my feelings as well.
*you told me i'm worthless: most of the time these are just fighting words for people who have nothing better to say! i may be worthless to you, but that is your loss, not mine. also, what does that show for you? if i'm so worthless then why are you/have you been wasting your precious time?
*oh, so you thought having someone else join in a discussion and cuss me out and deliver unnecessary low blows to hurt my feelings?: this one gets me every time! first off, if you can't handle having a discussion all on your own, then we probably shouldn't be associated with each other as it is as i only like to have argumentative discussions with adults. secondly, getting someone to your dirty work is so childish that from that point on, the rest of your argument is null and void as i no longer can take you seriously.
*you are actively trying to start rumors: ha! this one wins the gold! :) first of all, when you have to go out of your way, contact someone you supposedly cannot stand, and have a general conversation with them just to start rumors about someone else... should i even need to explain why this doesn't hurt my feelings?! lmao! if days later you go to someone so random and try to tell them that I (or anyone) has been talking trash about them.. out of the blue.. you seriously tickle my pickle! are you THAT bored with your life that you have absolutely nothing else productive to do with your time? and then one by one you pick more and more people up with some of the same stories and some different.. be careful not to mix them up, deary, or you will give yourself away! :) And also regarding rumors: if you hear one, and you don't have the decency to ask before assuming, judging, or spreading the gossip, then you are no friend of mine. And make no mistake, I am fine with that!! :) And if out of the blue someone comes to you saying that someone else is talking behind your back, and you believe the randomness knowing said person would only say this if there was some argument going on.. but you believe it anyways.. then again, when one door closes, another one opens. So long, Farewell.. More room for people that actually matter!
I am perfectly understanding and confident in my decisions to do away with people in my life whether it be face to face interaction or just facebook acquaintances. It does not matter if we have been friends for 25 years or 5 years or 3 months.. Sometimes the best thing to do is let go. That was something I have had a lot of trouble doing in the past. I have come to accept that over the past 6 months. And so far, letting go of some people/things has given me the ultimate freedom from whatever chains had been holding me back. I dont regret letting one person go that I have let go this year.
My self-esteem is way higher than it has ever been. I love my life (now that i have gotten to a place to settle down and my doctors and I have settled my health problems down). You experience bad things and good things in your life. Some people are put into your life to stay, some people are put in to your life temporarily to teach you a lesson. But the one thing i will always be proud of is my sense of honesty and truthfulness. I will fight to the end to stand up for what I believe in, and stand up to protect myself, my family, and my friends. Always.
I pick my friends very carefully. I don't trust many people at all. Over the years your list of "true" friends gets smaller and smaller. I have no doubt in my mind that my three best friends, Shannon, Tena, and Lauren are my most truest friends. All friends have arguments. All friends make mistakes. But true friends love one another no matter what. In life, all you need is your family and your friends and you are the richest person in the world.
Be rich, my friends!
megan
there are so many things i find funny that i shouldn't. the human race nowadays seems to just be there for my entertainment. the way that people act towards one another is just ridiculous. the way people treat each other, the way people treat their significant others, the way people twist and turn things around and try to use it for their benefit no matter what it costs the other person. it really makes you stop and think when someone treats you a certain way, especially if that person is supposed to be a friend.
one thing that has killed me over the past couple of years is one-sided friendships. one where you take all the initiatives to either get together, make plans, whatever it may be, and the other person doesn't really travel their half of the two way road at all! its heartbreaking when you have these realizations and you think to yourself "i thought so & so was a better person than that" or "i really thought he/she had changed". having that thought about a friend is the absolute worst! something equally just as bad is thinking "if i met this person tomorrow not knowing anything about them, would i befriend them?" and if your answer is "no", then what do you do?
well, this would be the part where i would give an answer to that question. unfortunately, i don't have one. it's not easy to drop someone you have been friends with for a long time. even if there is no bad blood, the lack of that persons presence, whether really wanted or not, is always there.
i can, however, share a few *red flags* i have learned over the past few years that may make you aware that your friendship isn't as strong on the other persons end than you may think it is.
-distance: the obvious red flag. when your "friend" is either physically or emotionally distant from you over time. There comes a time when you are so tired of trying to keep your friendship with someone but for no apparent reason they just aren't there anymore. I know people grow apart and go their separate ways. its part of life! but doing that doesn't mean you have to leave your friends behind.
-half-hearted girl talks: (this has happened to me a few times recently and made me question how valuable my friendship is to a certain person.) When your "friend" halfway reaches out to you (and/or your group) and makes it a point to make everyone aware that *something negative* is going on and pulls a "whoa is me" kind of act, you try to be the best friend you can and reach out, but then the other person just doesn't have time to talk, or never calls you back, etc.. after a few days of trying, you just get tired of it and think well if this was that big of a deal, he/she would/will come to me when they need me. and weeks later you are still wondering what happened that was so bad that you made a huge deal out of it in front of everyone but then won't tell what happened after days of "we will have to talk later!". That makes you question if it is yourself that isn't "good" enough or "important" enough to be told or was this whole thing just for attention! either one is a negative answer!
-apologies: when you hurt someone's feelings, especially a good friend, you apologize. period. sometimes we (as in everyone) need a few days to cool down before you speak again. this is a good idea for sure! you never want to say something so horrible or hurtful that ends your friendship and you regret for the rest of your life. words leave an impression much longer than physical pain. but when a "friend" makes comments or statements that hurt your feelings and knows he/she hurt your feelings but never comes back to apologize... red flag. especially if that friend just waits a few days or a week or so then is going to come back and just act like nothing happened... red. freakin. flag. if you love or care about someone, you apologize when you hurt them. end of story. no if's, and's, or but's about it. If you don't get an apology from someone who has hurt you, heed it as a warning and move on and if you allow the person back into your life without speaking of the incident, then tread the water carefully and don't trust that person as far as you can throw them. learned that one in the past few days.
guilt tripping: if a friend needs to guilt trip you on a regular basis to do things for them, red flag. if every time they ask you to do something they throw in a guilt phrase, red flag. guilt tripping people regularly is a horrible habit to have and even a more horrible trait to possess. friends should do things for friends when they can with no questions asked. and if whatever it is cannot be done, a friend should take your word for it, not try to guilt trip you. i have succumbed to this behavior so many times! doing things i didn't really want to do all because someone basically guilt tripped me into it. you should do things for people because you want to and not because they are making you feel so bad for not doing it. and you should respect your friends when you don't get the answer you wanted. when someone does that to me, most of the time, all it ever does is make you feel used! feeling used is a horrible place to be at in a friendship and if thats the way someone is making you feel, step back and check yourself. that is not a friendship to be in and you should not waste any more time doing anything for someone who doesn't appreciate what you do but only lays on what you don't or can't do. that is such a horrible feeling that it makes my stomach hurt just thinking about it happening to me.
current events: when you know a lot about what is going on in your "friends" life, but realize they really havent a clue about a certain few situations going on in your own life that ordinarily a friend should know, red flag! this is another example of friends traveling on the two way street of friendship and one isn't doing his or her traveling. everyone needs friends they can run to when things start getting dark. and props to you if you can help lighten their world! but when you realize how much light you are bringing while you world is still dark and that person really has not shown any interest in what's going on with you, be careful! this is a very fast way to get your feelings hurt.
basically it all comes down to this: if you are in a friendship with someone, you both work on the friendship and meet in the middle. if the other person in this relationship isn't meeting you in the middle, run. if you stick around, you are setting yourself up for disappointment, getting your feelings hurt, etc. etc. etc.
aaaaaaaaand i'm over it! :) hope everyone has a great weekend!
Until then,
megan
